Cartman gets a Girlfriend
by HunterKiller666
Summary: One of the girls in fourth grade has a crush on Cartman, and there's a big dance coming


**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN SOUTH PARK**

Wednesday 10:45 AM

South Park Elementary School, Fourth Grade Class Room

''And then in the Great War the Empire fought who?'' Mr Garrison asked. ''That's right the Aldmeri Dominion.''

Mr Garrison was holding another history lession. He had moved from history of Westeros to history of Tamariel. Most of the students tried to focus on teacher, but it was hard because lunch break was so near and most of the students were hungry.

''Attention students, mkay.'' Mr Mackeys voice was heard from intercom.

''Oh what now?'' Mr Garrison asked.

''This Friday the school will be holding its second annual Bay of the Pigs Memorial Dance.'' Mr Mackey said. ''This dance is mandatory to all students, mkay.''

Then the bell rang, letting students to lunch break.

* * *

Wednesday 11:05

South Park Elementary School Cafeteria, Girls table.

''Oh my god this is so exciting.'' Bebe said. ''I thought that they wouldn't hold a dance after what happened last year.''

The girls all nodded in agreement. Bebe was of course talking about Rebecca Cotswolds. Then Wendy asked the big question.

''So, who are you asking to the dance.'' She said. ''Because I'm of course going with Stan, Nichole and Token is another sure couple, and so is Bebe and Clyde.''

Heidi Turner started looking at the boys table, thinking about who she was going to ask to dance. Her eyes spotted Craig Tucker, who had a blank expression on his face and was flipping someone off. Next to him was sitting Tweek Tweak, who was drinking coffee and twitching. And on the other side of the table was sitting Eric Cartman. She thought about asking him to the dance. After all, she had had this wierd feeling when ever she saw him, and her mother had told her, that it ment she was in love, and when you are truly in love with someone you don't care what they look like, and what others think, right?

She slapped herself mentally. She was entering that part of her brain that she had decided to avoid.

''Earth to Heidi Turner.'' She heard her cousin Sally say.

''What?'' She asked.

''We were asking who you will ask to the dance.'' Sally answered.

''I don't know.'' Heidi said.

''Well you have to decide fast, or soon only boys you can ask are Butters and fatass.'' Bebe said, and Red moved nervously.

Wendy also seemed to notice that. ''Red why did you start twitching like Tweek when Bebe mentioned Butters?''

''Well I just was thinking that maybe I should ask him to the dance.'' Red said, blushing.

''Well you should come with us.'' Wendy said. ''Me and Bebe are going to ask Stan and Clyde out, and Butters is sitting in their table.''

The three girls left the table, and walked to boys table where Butters was explaining something to other boys.

''I'm telling you fellas, I heard from Scott Malkinson, who heard Principal Victoria and Mr Adler talking about it, that Timmys band is playing at the dance this Friday.'' Butters said.

''What'' Kyle said. ''Is that true Timmy?''

''Timmy'' The wheelchair bound boy shouted.

The girls got to the boys table, and got their attention.

''Stan will you go to the dance with me'' Wendy asked.

''Sure Wendy.'' Stan said and puked on floor.

After Clyde had said yes to Bebe, Cartman looked at Red.

''So did you come here to act as moral support or to ask some boy out.'' Cartman said, and Red blushed when he said boy, and Cartman noticed it, and countinued. ''So you came here to ask someone of us to the dance, so who is it?''

Wendy looked at Red and said. ''I hate agreeing with Eric, but that is why you came here Red.''

''Maybe I should wait untill I can get a more private moment with him.'' Red said nervously.

''Tell us who you want to ask out.'' Cartman said.

''Shut up fatass this has noting to do with you.'' Bebe said, defending her friend.

''I'm not fat, I'm big boned.'' Cartman said, and turned his attention back to Red and said. ''Tell me who you are going to ask to the dance, or I'll feed your parents to you.''

''BUTTERS WILL YOU COME TO THE DANCE WITH ME?'' Red shouted.

The whole cafeteria fell silent, and stared at Red, whose face was starting to turn same color as her hair.

''So Butters I believe that she asked you a question.'' Wendy said. ''So what do you answer?''

''Well, geez of course I go to the dance with you Red.'' Butters said smiling nervously.

* * *

Thursday 2:10 PM

South Park Elementary School, playground.

Heidi Turner had made her decision, and was approaching the basketball field where boys were playing. She noticed Cartman arguing with Clyde.

''Goddamnit Clyde, I'm so seriously.'' Cartman said. ''If you don't stop that cheating, I will kick you in the nuts.''

Heidi tapped Cartman on shoulder, and he flipped her off without even turning and said. ''Fuck off Butters.''

''I'm not Butters.'' Heidi said, and the fat boy turned around.

''What do you want from me bitch?'' He asked.

''I was wondering that if you would like to go to the dance with me?'' Heidi said, noticing the suprised looks on faces of other boys.

''Why would I go to the dance with you.'' Cartman said.

''Well has someone else asked you?'' Heidi asked, knowing the answer.

''No.'' Cartman said.

Before he could say anything more, Heidi said. ''So why wouldn't you come to the dance with me?''

''Fine, maybe I go to that stupid dance with you.'' Cartman said.

''Okay, see you tomorrow.'' Heidi said and left.

Cartman turned to his friends, who still couldn't believe what they saw and heard, amd tried to get their attention, but didn't succeed in it.

''All right that does it.'' He shouted. ''Screw you guys, I'm going home.''

* * *

Friday 7:00 PM

South Park Elementary Scholl, gymnasium

Like Butters had said, Timmy and the Lords of the Underworld played at the dance, and when they started playing a slow song, Heidi asked Cartman to dance with her. They entered the center of the floor, where there were other couples dancing too. They danced for few minutes, and Heidi couldn't resist herself anymore, and pressed her lips on Cartman's lips.

When their lips parted, they noticed that the whole school was looking at them in disbelief, and even the band had stopped playing.

''What the hell are you people all looking at?'' Cartman shouted. ''Keep dancing and playing and whaterver you were doing.''

People returned back to what they were doing before the kiss, but Cartman and Heidi just looked at each other.

''So'' Heidi said. ''Should we still keep, you know, seeing each other after the dance?''

''Why the hell not?'' Cartman said, and pulled her to another kiss.

''Dude this is pretty fucked up right here.'' Stan, who had been dancing with Wendy nearby, said to Kyle who was dancing with Sally. Stan then looked to direction where Kenny and Lola had gone, and saw Kenny, covered in rats lying on ground, and Lola was screaming next to him.

''Oh my go, they've killed Kenny!'' Stan shouted.

''You bastard!'' Kyle shouted.

Seeing Cartman being kissed by girl had been shocking enough to give Kenny a heart attack, which had killed him.


End file.
